if I could go back in time

You made it! finally, where were you?

It took me forever to get here, I can‘t imagine the whole city evacuating in such short time. How long will you be staying?

Another night at least; are you injured?

No.

Great, walk with me. There isn‘t a soul around, we set up base in a tavern not far from here. Have some water while we get there.

Out of the four provinces I scouted around, the situation in Rahnag is most dire. The few citizens I met were farmers from poorer regions that weren‘t able to flee - not sure how we are planning to assist them in the upcoming weeks. They did regroup in all of them, still having had radio access.

Noone reached out, I‘m assuming they aren‘t but elderly or sickly, would be better to send paramedics as part of the escort job tonight.

Yes. Karl messed with me a bit. He claimed to know the only meaningful way of rescue; when all he did was to step into one past, then the other, then the other, reaching the point where I was seriously considering backtracking to page one again. There wasn‘t an end to it, each lead led him into others, at some point we weren‘t even sure anymore whether the graph wasn‘t running cyclic already. ‚Trust me“, „trust me“, he kept repeating. I listened half-asleep, and walked my way through it all, and I guess I will never know for sure.

What?

What what?

What will you never know for sure?

I can‘t tell you, that‘s the whole point. Mainly because I‘m not sure? and if I do it‘s Schrödinger‘s cat all over again, I respect those cats way to much to be sure about this. Can we work around it?

Circleing around it? Sounds a lot like „a-cyclic“ to you?

No…

Trust me. It‘s better for you to stay here and figure it out.

No…

Trust me. It‘s your fatigue talking, better listen.

What is it about memory, the difference between a memory and me is what I don‘t yet totally get. Why are some memories engrained to be part of me and some others I can look back to fondly, angry that it‘s all i got when all the others are really just me all along and as long as I keep doing what I want - the ‚I’ here is in a big fat capital letter but you don‘t notice because thin letters are discriminated against, who is afraid of a capital ‚I‘ all together, we decided to name ourselves as capitals, imagine they would start raising others, we might end up German! - it shouldn‘t really matter except for health insurance, that shit is c r u c i a l and shouldn‘t really be wagered with, ‚better to put in another shift than to live without‘ is my vibe here, very boring now that I realize

It‘s definitely the right choice, otherwise it wouldn‘t be flowing so much, right? It‘s like an itch for an amputee, a feeling about something that isn‘t even there, but wasn‘t the amputee severed to feel this way! Take the finger, but why would you rip off the whole arm! Is nothing sacred to you? It‘s so exhausting. Maybe that’s why I was told to ‚never be too happy‘, it’s not their fault the world runs on poles. Laugh and I‘ll love you. Scream and I‘ll love you. They love me either way I wish I could tell that to my younger self and just give less shit about it. I wish I could go back and sucker punch his gigantic nose in front of everyone, yes I mean my own nose it would do me well for sure the earlier the better that‘s one hundred percent what I would be doing if I could go back in time god damn why I am not doing this full time guys I love my secret little side hobby running for me here I‘ll start crying no you stop crying now I am crying now we‘re both crying.