My table is round and can extend into a six-people sized surface if necessary. It’s only job is to look aesthetic, stand there, and act as a placing area for keys, food, and dishes. Never have I demanded money from it for staying inside my apartment; instead I clean it every day, polish it with oil every now and then, and receive complements from my friends and family for it. What a nice table! It can extend so smoothly! That’s all. Does it need to go to work, move, breathe?

Hi, i have to do night shifts at work. I‘m tired so no post today. If you‘re reading this by next week, I‘ll buy you a drink.

Der Herr Glattauer hat mir mit seinen Werken auch trotz meinem in wenigen Tagen vollendeten 26 Lebensjahr schon viel Freude bereitet. Meine Eltern und deren Vorfahren hatten es mit Krieg, Flucht, und Armut leicht; ich durfte mich Dank meinem Privileg, ein zu 1998 in Österreich geborenes Kind zu sein, um meine Zukunft ohne existenzielle Verlustängste scheren - abgesehen von meinem Handy, das mir als an der Generation Z grenzender junger Mann das Leben aus der Seele (eigentlich

I happen to have the most organized wife on this planet. You think we work for forty and study twenty hours a week while maintaining a healthy lifestyle full of workouts and sport events that are only possible because we cook our own food since otherwise we wouldn’t have the energy to go on thirty-two vacations spread across the year’s holidays, do we? „Babe, do you have plans on October 12th next year?“, she asks. What am I supposed to respond to that, should I check my cale

Everyone’s unique, right? We all have interests in certain music, sport, and cultivate relationships with people that other’s wouldn’t necessarily. Most of us wake up every day and have something in them that gets them out of bed, into their work attire, outside of the apartment or house, and to work. If you’re as lucky as I am, the last part is not mandatory thanks to Corona and new Home Office regulations at my company. The last week wasn’t so funny, nonetheless. I had to i

Old people taking too long in grocery stores Loud babies and children on planes Regarding point one, I propose additional security at every grocery store that frisk the eldery for coins; no card payment, no entry. You talk too much to the cashier, too long to pack your things? You get escorted out of the store. For point two, it would require a redefinition of what we consider „baggage“. If we were to classify loud minions as additional travel baggage, we could store them tog

Die Menschheit ist sich seit Jahrtausenden einig, dass es Gesetze sind, die ein harmonisches Miteinander garantieren; dass es einen Staat geben muss, der sich für Recht einsetzt. Ohne Recht wüte Unrecht. Wieso haben wir Menschenrechte? Wir sind sich einig, dass jeder Mensch ohne Rücksicht auf Hautfarbe, Religion, und Ideologie ein gewisses Maß an Wert hat. Wurden diese verletzt, gab es in unserer Geschichte Menschen, die uns mit Gesetzen mitteilen wollten, in Zukunft solche G

Wos warad, wenn wir uns ned immer so ernst nemma würdn. Der wird des denga, sie des moana, de ondan wern mi ned versteh. Jo mei. Um so vü schena wa’s, wenn ma unsane Mauern wegbrechn, die uns im Lebn von ondan aufbaut wurden. Weg damid, von mir aus verwend die Hilti. Wos warad, wenn ma mal den Moment gemeinsom spian, für des das ma sie gfundn hom! Dass des passiert is, wahnsinn. Von ollem werma zrissen, imma kead wos gmocht, die Sorgn hom ka End. Jo mei. Um so vü schena wa’s,

Heute hat ich des Vergnügen, dem Herrn Glattauer einen Meter am Barhocker lehnend gegenüber mir sitzen zu haben und Zeit mit uns zu teilen, um selbst für eine himmlische Stunde aus seinem neuesten Werk „In einem Zug“ mit Frau Petra Hartlieb zu lesen. Dann war er auch noch lieb genug, sich nach den vielen achtsamen Autographen (schreibt man des so?) mir auf die Schulter zu klopfen und sich zu uns zu setzen, um mir die Frage zu beantworten, die ich bei meiner Buchsignatur („Fü

Last week I spent a whole week in France, with both arrival and departure at the Beauvais airport a 90-minute bus ride away from Paris. There’s three airports around Paris, I believe, and Beauvais airport is probably the least maintained one… Imagine a huge storage hall re-designed with two cafes, security checks, and one large seating are. No AC at 29*C, warm drinks at stupendous prices, and crowds of sweaty people fighting over the electricity sockets. In those moments I re

Last weekend I was in Paris, the weekend before in London, where I entered this store called „Sandro“ – a designer brand creating the most attractive set of clothing I HAVE EVER SEEN. There’s only one catch: it’s FOCKING expensive, dude. In any case, being able to shop from Sandro goes straight on my vision board. Next week I am either going to write on why I hate working out so much, or explain why I think women deserve to stay at home and chill – I’ll decide once I get back

What would I be doing today, if not wasting my time, scared to feel your sun shine. I would let the days pass me, and not see your eyes, your funky cheeks and your smile. Can you hear me, I need your voice inside my mind, Fill my heart, only you inside. Snicker, snicker all you want, the room will bend and get lost around you, until he disappears in everything new I learn from you. ———————— This and any content on this blog belongs to me, biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch. Dave

„Lieber Herr Regierungsabgeordneter, wir brauchen die sieben Tage Woche, es bleibt uns kaum noch Zeit!“, wehklagte Dipl. Ing. Mayrhofer am runden Tisch der wie-binden-wir-die-zukunft-an-mehr-profit-Vereinigung, eines geheimen Bündnis aller Regierungsparteien mit dem Ziel, mehr Geld als je zuvor zu machen. Noch nie war der Hebel für sie kürzer als heute; kein österreichisches Kind musste die Folgen des Krieges aus erster Hand erleben. „Mayrhofer hat Recht, nicht mehr lange und

I regularly contemplate on my life; you know, what’s all of it for. Money? How different I would live my life not having any financial worries? I imagine my phone ringing: Elon Musk is calling me! „Lila, an honor to meet you sir. I found your blog @theaustrianyoumet on IG and needed to call you – had my boys at DOGE hack into the social security system just to get your contact info. Listen… your first poem really resonated with me, which is why I would like to gift you 100 bi

Since the day I have met you I wonder When was it you began meaning so much to me. For my shortcomings, I hope I won’t blame you, Understand that it‘s my flaws and mistakes, But I want to try and have you ponder, Tee you off and have it be the feather in my cap. Amuse your mornings being the clown I am, TO BE CONTINUED

Let’s play a game. I don’t know yet how to coin it, but it works as follows: I provide you with a hypothetical scenario and you need to act out and continue the story in whatever way you like. But only if you are up for it… ONLY IF YOURE STOKED AND YOLKED! ARE U READY?! Only math allowed is EFFING TANGENTS drawn longer than your mama’s rants on your way home from school. If it’s not giving, you loose. Can I get a heeeeYAAAA?! Here goes story number 1: It’s world war 2, and yo

If I reincarnate, let me be a crow. I want to know what it feels like to fly around and still be able to sustain friendships to others; to nimbly pick your food but graciously bide my time until the very moment your heart parlously skips a beat not knowing whether you injured me or not. To glide and gently land onto a stranger’s fence as an opportunity to have my majestic form present itself in front of the stranger, but have the false sense of time thwarted by my abrupt d

Intro Lemme‘ show em‘ ( METRO DROP SOME MORE DIGGAH ) Verse 1 A ring on my baddie ( gorgeus ) How ‘bout I be only her daddy ( the whole day ) Go out and get those flowers ( for roses I pay ) Pull out a ring and marry her ( u know that she slays ) The shit gett’n mackabree ( u meant macabre? ) Treatin‘ her like a real men, petrinent ( pertinent? That’s hard ) Pushin‘ to the end of the mattrec ( mattress, close but fire! ) Spoonin‘ her big time small spawn style ( small spo

“Ich kann mir einfach nicht vorstellen, wie ich auf so viel gleichzeitig achten soll.” murmelte Rochus K. während der Fahrt vor sich her. In einem kleinen Taxi begab er sich auf dem Weg zum Bauernhof seiner Großtante, die ihm ihren Besitz noch vor ihrem Tod vererben wollte; mit der dringenden Bitte, sie noch unbedingt einmal zu besuchen. Das letzte Mal muss vor über 30 Jahren gewesen sein, wo Rochus noch als Jugendlicher Besuch von der Tante aus Amerika erhielt, um sich verkr

I fly, my self is waking up inside me, I get surprised by my highs and, lows don‘t frighten me more than you, get to experience me on your side. To, love and care for you until I die in a, world I scare to leave behind for new, better, and unknown things in your sky, is what I see when I look into your eyes. Baby, please stay by my side. You, mind my self more than I, accept, all there is inside of my, heart, no matter what emptiness, it takes in my darkest hours and, days